all i want for christmas, is YOU :DD

2006-11-22T00:15:00.000-08:00

OMG!
17 november was a BLAST.
hahah, really got to admit.

okay, yea. i know ive not been devoted to my little blogg here but hey. at least i still "pop" by what. lolls.

gonna put up a new blog soon. (not sure yet) cause this one kinda sucks.
anyways, mr moo.. thank you tonnes for friday night man.
i know you wont exactly read this cause youre supposedly banned from my sites but yea. THANKIE YOUIE!

ohwells, im going off now.
blogger next time.

2006-10-23T17:08:00.000-07:00

been really tired lately.
been busy and home late all week!

now working my butt off to earn a little extra so that i can buy more stuffs! (:
but yea, its kinda tough luh. sighs.

2006-10-07T00:49:00.000-07:00

its like so DAMN perfect!
if only i was like older now?!

ive got a human job @ the argtscafe, esplanade.
ive got my odd job @ elle elite as a model.
ive got my loving boyfriend who wouldnt let me go.
hahah.
im loving it, oh so badly! hahah.

BRIAN TEO! i love you tonnes!

but wells, like stephen said... nothing lasts forever.
somehow i feel like.. although steph and i are totally different in many ways.. we still click well.
i know its cliche to say that were so close and yet so far.. but yea. WE ARE!
im really upset that heather and him arent getting married anymore,
its a SAD SAD situation.
and i, not being his ex girlfriend or whatever.. but just as a friend. need to be there for him.

im glad ive got stephen and leon with me (:
i mean. yea, i do have my darling brian but things are different.
i cant blurt out my super innermost feelings cause i know brian cant accept or learn to listen to somethings i have to say.
like modelling pisses him off. and hearing about me and any guy [be it in photoshoots or in my own social life] pisses him off.
i cant talk to him freely ):
its like i have to know when and what to say.
cause i know if i dont keep somethings away from him.
he'll get hurt. and that will be my bad.

LEON LIM JIONG RUI [LLJR]
i know leon was protective to a point that he got over-protective over everything and every male i talk to.
but yea, he had his PMSes and stuff.
but he changed gradually because of his change in attitude and clique of friends.
so that was quite understandable.
but than again. he was never a man of his word.
he always lied to cover up his mistakes or follies.
and dispite being with me, he had other girls to perk him up.
i know i was stupid to still stick with him.
but yea, he slept with

and yea, STEPHEN...
hes still that guy i used to like.
hes so gentle and never harsh. hes someone that can never compare to brian or leon.

oh wells. i shall stop this and BE GLADD!
ive been loved. yay!

2006-09-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

saturday and sunday was GREAT! hahah.

THE WEDDING
saturday was fun, i got to meet evangeline and her groupies (cheryl, desiree, etc)
went quite early to do up last minute arrangements which i had a hell of a time with justin and jonathan! hahah. quite cool luh. yea.
than i went out to the counter to do my "duty" in making the guests sign the wedding guestbook (: like tell them which pen colour to use on each coloured page [cause some colours really clash with the background]
when the guests arrived, it started off slow. hahah. evan and i predicted the time the guests would arrive. and they did! VERY PROMPTLY. hahah. it was stupid luh.
jonathan changed into his shirt (double layer; and complaining of the heat) and poor justin... hahah. he had to wait for his parents to bring his shirt along. [in which, they were a little late]
after the walk in of the bride and groom, i had to look after little jon. hes really cute luh. blurr sotong but really nice luh x))
after the entire thing, HAHAH. justin, jonathan and i went to hogg the CHOCOLATE FAUNDU @ the fruits and such table. like DUH, its the CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN! ahh. glorious! yea, than later we went to snap photos (: that was that for saturday wedding.

[after the wedding, jonathan and i did our little farewell, though we were gonna see each other the next day, but yea. hahah. than i went to church! stayed in the service for a little while and left to meet brian.]

THE CHALET
brian never fails to make me wait.. and i waited for one and a half hours luh ALONE @ the three five four busstop. damn pissed. but yea. what to do?? yea. when we met, we took a slow walk to S09 and met the rest. including this super annoying girl named CANDY. (pukey name, but yea)
things started off slow because i was still upset a little but haha. something happened that we didnt expect that changed the ENTIRE scenerio. yea. they were like playing watere bombs, three humans among themselves. and the thing was, brian and i sat on the curb. we werent talking or anything until.. SPLAT! both of us got wet. stupid bitch, candy (kenneths new found gf, bloody fat luh), anyways... she "accidentally" burst one at us. my hiar, the back of my shirt, brians left sleeve and his face got wet! hahah. (brian was looking at them and saw the stupid thing burst luh.) it was super dumb luh. but at least that broke the ice between us and he like smiled. and yea. things went better after that. but watever, CANDY YOU BITCH! my hair was perfect brfore YOU friggin destroyed it luh. i managed to save my hair in a pretty condition since the wedding until she burst the dumb water bomb and spoilt EVERYTHING. arghs. i could almost kill her there and than.

everything else that happened.. ill continue de. hahah. (ANOTHER DAY)
loves you people! mwahxx.

2006-09-24T00:54:00.000-07:00

kinda upset that im not around LLJR anymore. and his call and sudden sms on sunday morning @ 3plus AM was a total reminder that i liked him.

i know its time to move on and things like that but yea. i cant possibly lie to myself and say that 3 1/2 years of my life dissppered right? gosh, this is SO not right.

anyways. LLJR, its okay alright? you can honestly just call or whatever. ive just got to take things in my stride and say "we are just friends" and like not think about the past everytime i see you or talk to you, etc... yubbs. it sort of just the living reality that ive got to face up to and be STRONG! hahah.

LLJR, dont do it alr okay? it hurts your friends, your pretty mom and me too. so please, pretty please? at least for our sake, TRY!

2006-09-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

ooh. todays gonna be a GORGEOUS DAY! wheeets.
its khim and terrences wedding and im like all geared up and prepared to be the guestbook attendant for today (:
hahah.

i hope the guests will like appreciated my work luh. it was really time consuming and tough okay? but i believe that yea. its for a good cause... KHIMS wedding! yay!

hahah. really happy now.
gonna meet my dearies JUSTIN HUI and JONATHAN MA now. whee.
hopefully today, id get to meet my mysterious caller, evangeline tan. hahah. bet shes as nice as she sounds over the phone luh. teehee.
ohwells, got to pack my stuff and go now. ciao!

btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENJAMIN LEE WEI CHUNG! hahah.
see you @ the chalet later yea? lovelove~

2006-09-23T01:32:00.000-07:00

hehe. tonight was absolutely fun.
especially with jonathan and justin around. :DDD
tonight was just the setting up of the main decorations in preparations for tomorrows wedding function (:
i cannot wait till the guests arrive and stand in awe in the sanctuary! hahah. BHB-ness.

had a little teamwork problems cause "miss know-it-all" never completed any of her tasks given to her. she like was supposed to drap cloth of the pews which she did not complete and made a toal mess of the first half anyway, curled the ribbons and didnt tear them into halves, cut apricoms and decided to give up because of her "pretty (ugly) manicure" and tie the flowers which she in the end gave to the sweet plump lady to do. hahah. im like kinda mean naming tham this way cause i just get so mixed up with their names. hah. yea. and "miss perfectionist-wannabe" never got anything right. kept complaining that she didnt know and wasnt doing a great job fulffing the cloth when it was practically ALREADY fluffed up luh. i was like OHMYGOD!

yea. but after the entire day (night) hahah. it was great luh. marcus drove jus, jon, my mom and i back to pasir ris where we had a little bite @ mcdonalds. hahah. gave a old mcdonalds aunty a gerbera cause she thought it was pretty. hahah. what a glow she had on her face luh. MAN!

yea than we took a cab home. hahah. ohwells. i might just go to sleep now.
hmm. i miss BRIAN TEO! i might go look for him vis phone(s) now. ciao.

MICHELLE BRANCH- goodbye to you

2006-09-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

[hey, you know who you are.]
im sorry alright? i still love you dardar.

Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend

and I say
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
but it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Ohhh yeah
It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
you were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

and when the stars fall and I lie awake
youre my shooting star

2006-09-22T17:16:00.000-07:00

rahh.
ATTEMPTED to train today. (not good)
but ohwells, went to school at 1230 around there to meet ms kaur to pick up my REPORT BOOK!
**okay, now people. dont expect me to download or whatevr my results on my blog ar/ cause if you are... SHAME ON YOU**
hahahahahah.

hmm. met up with brians gang. went to block 163 to celebrate afiq (pretty eyes) birthday. waited like until 1400plus for the cake to arrive.
teehee.
brought by anirah and jannah. yubs.

yea.
BRIAN MISSED THE TABLE! hahah.
shhh. its a "private-cum-secret joke"
aka; VERY HILARIOUS!
(dont worry audrey, ill tell you when you remind me)

hmm. yea. than after the laadeedums, took 59 home luh.
got this new indian driver [handsome seh] x)
than yea. he missed the turning luh cann?
all the ah pehs and the aunty aunty scold him.
hahah.
PAISEH!
yea. than he apologised and u-turned back.
super funny luh.

hmms.
today, khims wedding flowers delivery got problems. hais.
no stock of flowers that we ordered, and so we gotta get the common local malaysia, china ones instead.
its not as nice luh but yea, we had to work with what we had luh.
sigh.

made a BIG BIG BIG bouquet for audrey cause I LOVE HER!
hahahah.
[i bet audreys smiling now (:]
and yea. i made it MYSELF!
hey, dont complain luh hors.

expensive flowers + pretty hands who made it -> ALOT of cuts from torns and sticks ar.

you BETTER appreciate it.
hey, this is ONLY one of the few times that id be spending alot of cash on you seh. hahah.
im not financially very stable can? dont know why everybody thinks im rich. =.=

ive got branded stuff and all but that doesnt mean anything what.
SHEESH.
hahah.
ohwells, i got to stop here alr.
going to prepare myself for a TD calender photoshoot. than going to trueway church at queenstown to set up things for the wedding tomorrow.
yubbs. (:
oh yea! SHIT.
i still got to pack my stuffs for bennys chalet tomorrow.
oooh. got to go.
-rushes my typing-

oh yeah, one more VERY IMPORTANT thing before i publish this post..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING LEON LIM JIONG RUI [LLJR]
read by 2 backed posts, its under your dedications :DD
love you tonnes didi,
LOVE~ your jiejie (:

2006-09-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

LUN WEIMING!
thank you truckloads.

youre a lifesaver (:
hahah.

xoxoxo.
MUACKS~

2006-09-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

today morning.
bad day luh. yea.
(dont really wanna talk about it)

woke up about 1350 to 1400.
tried to contact brian (:
he had some things to do but yea.
since i wasnt feeling very well, he came over instead :DDD

things got a little out of hand but i guess.
once in awhile things should go offwards (SOMETIMES)
teehee.

tomorrow morning, the flowers for khims wedding are coming.
i honestly cant wait.

tomorrows a busy day. sigh.
planned not to go to school.
hahah.
eexuan and huiyi also not going. tralalaas~
but i got to go school AFTER school to get my report book. weee! (:

hmms.
still waiting for that brian to call. tsktsk.
he never fails to make me wait for his calls cann?
ROAR!

ohwells.
2 and a half minutes to AFIQ and LEONS birthday.
wheeeets.

2006-09-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

hmm.
today was alright, sort of.
okay. this post isnt dedicated to JCEX..
but its to LLJR :)

hey sharkkae.
i know its hard to put the past behind us and yea. i really thank you understanding every circumstance thats gotten between and through us. im glad that your doing okay. but i hope that youll make right decisions so stop making your mom and i worried??! youre still a dear, i know. but hey! im happy where i am now. with who im with (dont regret him) and stuff. :DD
you know whats the best thing about my happiness? ITS YOU. (: cause without you, i wouldnt know what love was nor hoe to love others unconditionally like how you did. and its becasue of YOU that im where i am now. if i hadnt net YOU.. i wouldnt be in my current status! i wouldnt be this happy. id be some ugly nerd with pigtails 24/7 and an enid blyton book on my lap. hahah. so yea. dont feel bad about anything thats happened. and you know. ITS YOU that i still care for. friends always remember? hahah. LLJR, i still remember luh. know youre always gonna be paranoid if i dont like remember your birthday or those "SECRET DAYS" but hey. i remembered this time!! [sadly, maybe its a wee too late alr ):] im sorry. HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN TWO DAYS! may just keep posting little notes or dedications to you over @ this site. so keep up your pace yea?
love you truckloads, didi! thank YOU for everything. :D muacks~

tag! youre it.
hahah. i didnt forget lorhs. xp
oh yea. and thanks for the "sitting on the water-breakers" time talk.
it really helped loads.

2006-09-20T16:04:00.000-07:00

im not your friend. im your girlfriend.
cant you at least just give me that a sense?
i hat you. hat you for making me feel this way.
GOD!

i like so knew it luh. you havent forgotten about that friday night or even seriously tried to forget it or forgive me over that matter. x(

my heart is like cracking! EARTHQUAKE CRACK.
hais.
now im like quite QUITE convinced (but still not totally) that i mean more to you than your little black bike. but the thing i need alot more convincing about is that you.. you'd love me truly. that you will never break my heart even if it was intended or not, if you meant it or not.

i know i sound like im getting paranoid but thats because..
I LOVE YOU. (:

2006-09-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

okay audrey, now now. dont get too over-excited. i did the stupid quiz. so here. hahah.

You name 13 of your classmates that you can think of right now!
Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 13 people.
1. sheena
2. guan miao
3. huiyi
4. huimin
5. winnie
6. amerul
7. nasrul
8. xin hua
9. jay
10. azri
11. aswad
12. anis
13. pin chao

How did you meet 10?
hes my primary school buddy since primary 1 :DDD

What would you do if you had never met 1?
than, i would never have known my SP4, SHEENA CHIA XUE NA <3

What would you do if 6 and 2 dated?
eww?! that would be like the sky falling?!

Have you ever seen 4 cried?
duh. afew times.

Do you think 10 is cute?
alright. in a burnt cookie way xp [private class joke]

How did you get to know 8?
hes my SP2, a buddy from sec 3, friend since sec 1 (:

Would you ever go on a date with number 12?
hello ?! IM STRAIGHT !

What's 7's favorite colour?
black? white? something like that.

What would you do if 6 confessed he/she loves you?
i'd say "hahah, good one"

Fact about 9:
hes my SP1 and is a AVA pro (:

Who is 4 going out with?
a guy?

Who is number 5 to you?
my sister-in-law (x

Would you ever live with 13?
like NO WAY! eww.

Is 2 single?
yarhs.

What do you think about 3?
shes really nice, but abit hyper at times.

What's the best thing about number 8?
we're best friends and he's a general!

What do you like about number 11?
hes really crude but funny.

Favorite memory with 6?
looking at john and talking and laughing alot in class.

Tag 6 people to do this quiz!
1. fareed
2. guan miao
3. sheena
4. winnie
5. leonard
6. anis

2006-09-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

i feel as though the chemistry between us has alr faded away.
like, a super long time ago?!

its sucks to know that maybe though this is the only one guy who can and has made me forget abt LLJR, he kinda makes me insecure abt our relationship toos. =/

like there will be times he so misses and wants to be with me but most of the time, its the exact opposite.
so wait...
is he truly someone deem fit to have all my love?
or will i just get hurt the way LLJR did me?

i dont wanna be a scapegoat or the lost sheep. i just wanna be happy can?
at least just be in full smiles for at least an hour or so whilst not being reminded of the past, the ugly present and LLJR. not being able to unscrewthe smile on my face, not being able to stop the uncontrlable feeling of laughing and a sense of happiness, joy and abit of glory in me.

oohlalaas~
i m so poetic.
hahah. but HEY!
noone ever quoted that the longing of being happy is a crime or a fanatic sin right?
so yea, maybe i do deserve to be a little happy.
at least.. thats all im asking for now.
i dont exactly care who im with to be happy, i just wanna be. hahah. yea.

hmm.
if only time could really heal the wound in my heart that maybe i would (:

2006-09-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

todays start was good.
sent mom off at the airport in the wee hours of the morning.
so sleepy luh.
when we got there, it was like PACKED.
cause 7 lanes were open but all in mix of SIA flights. tsktsk~

after checking in, we went for breakfast at my love..
COFFEE BEAN!
had my darling blackforest ice blend.
*slurps* mmm..
than went to mini bits, korea to buy a green hairband :D
teehee.

after leaving the airport, jonny and i went to tm.
it was a little too early like 7am plus?
but yea. went to go draw money.
(not with pen and paper luh. hahah.)

went home, got some rest and went to church.
had dance rehearsal for SF series.
i love it! its by KIRK FRANKLIN.
wonderful, wonderful.

had announcement at 2pm in grace chapel.
sadly, im not in for the christmas musical this year again.
i know they say that its not that we dont have the talent, but its the role limit.
i just think that thats honestly bullshit luh.
i guess im close to saying byebye to church and hello to free-thinkerism.
i dont know.

i can start to say that maybe sherman is right about church?
that its a total lie, just covered in disguise.
hmms.

anyways, had dance and than waited for my darling to come pick me up after service.
whee~

therafter, we went walking round dte than went home and talked while waiting for ben to come. hahah.
ben came around 10pm? yea. than we went to 64+4 to buy dinner.
fried rice and hor fun.
ben ate the entire fried rice box thingy and brian and i shared the hor fun.
friggin full luh, hahah.
oohs. we watched SPONGEBOB toos.
tralalalaas.

2006-09-02T12:55:00.002-07:00

today was G.R.E.A.T!
-screams-

ben left early to go to church to meet danielle.
brian and i slept throughout the morning. yea.
i guess you could say. it was quite a wonderful night.

i was really tired so i slept on the sofa in the hall.
ben was in the room talking on the phone to willy (i think).
brian.. just wanted to do his nails. hahah.
actually i was supposed to help him but.. yawns.
(excuses, excuses.. but hey, i was really dead tired!)
brian was really a darling. he sat by my side even when i was asleep.
AWWW...
i love you too brian teo!

i really didnt know why he did that so i asked him on the bus while we were heading off from changi village after packing lunch, nasi lemak!
okay okay, what he said was really (really x infinity) sweet.
"i dont know luh, i just wanted to be with you"
wheeets! hahah. *big, gigantic, huge smiles*

had loads of mosquito love bites in the hall, so i went back to my rom to sleep.
found brian sleeping on the floor and ben on the bed with my guit! hahah.
crawled up to bed and slept.
woke up only when ben had to leave.
aiya. i wished i could type everything that happened cause it was really like a dream come true! but yea.
too long luh. paiseh.
(*dont worry audrey, i'll tell you one day, when we go tanning or shopping!)

grandma came in the afternoon. but (like i said) i was dead tired so i slept from afternoon all the way till dinner time. hahah.
PIGGY!

yea. talked to my darling that night. though i had like my N levels the day after? but yea.
had a good time. so yes...
I LOVE 2 september 2006!

2006-08-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

todays an "all-lose" gamer.
english was drastic!
honestly a drastic measurement luh.

dont think im able to upkeep the position as the best or as a potential labouring student.

[DAMN IT].

all i hope is that today sfter school, itll be a better day.
*hint hint (to you know who you are, nanahh..)

2006-08-20T17:47:00.000-07:00

dont know why im crying?
dont see why im not strong enough to take the pain any longer.

im kinda really hating this.

knowing that i have nothing else to live for,
nothing left to do.
guess im getting quite lousy at this thing called...
[THE GAME OF LIFE].
hais.

or maybe being alone IS the game of life,
or at least how to win in it.

[THE QUESTION]:
to hurt and to hate?
or
to hurt or to hate?
*guess that is the probable question to ask myself huh?
hmm..

2006-08-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

1 month and it seems like im not there.

[ IM NON-EXISTANT ]

maybe he forgot,
maybe he doesnt care.
maybe im just his july joke!

given up so much...
just to know that he doesnt even realise
or appreciate my love or my pains.
how could i have been such a fool?

he would rather be with anyone else or his bike than me.
what made me even think id be loved by him anyways?
am i just some extra exception maybe?

love is nothing but [a dream].
a [dream] that will never come true.
a [dream] that will always be something that...
i can never have,
i can never hold,
i can never try,
i can never experience.
at least, not with you..?

probably im just lying to myself,
i guess i should probably take a step back INTO reality.
maybe than id realise that i basically am just not meant to be like everyone else.

*ponders*

2006-08-16T15:56:00.000-07:00

day + without him = [MISERABLE]

dont know if he even [bothers],
dont know [if] he even cares.
dont know if he even [realises] the agony,
dont know if [he] even remembers me.

OHWELLS.
guys will be guys.
and ONE FINE DAY..
my prince will come :D
just wished it was now luh.
damn it.

(maybe between the both of us... is the age difference?)

sigh. hmm. *ponders*